What is resilience?

Resilience is a word we hear a lot. But what does it really mean? How do we ‘be’ resilient? Why is being resilient such an important thing?

Everyone can benefit from being resilient and we can all develop our resilience in different ways. So, read on to find out more about what resilience means and how you can continue to build up your own resilience.

Defining resilience

Resilience refers to our ‘bounce-back-ability’, the way we adapt when challenges arise, dealing with them ‘in-the-moment’, but to how we move on.

Being resilient allows us to recover from perceived failures, taking the positive learning opportunities forward to continue to grow.

It is an important skill to have and is highly transferrable to all aspects of life, whether to face a personal setback, a ‘hiccup’ at work or a family challenge.

Whilst this general definition gives us a good idea of what it means to be resilient, our own outlook on it is as unique as we are. It’s important to remember that everyone’s understanding of what is challenging and what is not - and therefore of how we respond to such challenge - is subjective to their individual background, circumstances and beliefs.

Why is resilience important? 

What we consider to be a ‘challenge’ is very subjective – we all feel different things. For some, being observed in a classroom is a personal nightmare whilst for others? It’s showtime! 

And, whilst our struggles won’t all look the same, we all experience our very own bespoke thunderstorms – those dark clouds that loom above us and us alone. Negative experiences, regardless of what they involve, are likely to have negative influences on our feelings towards a situation or, more often than not, ourselves. 

We can’t always avoid stressful times but being aware and prepared can help to reduce its impact, both in the moment and long afterwards. 

That’s why building our sense of resilience - our ability to adapt to challenges and recover from their impact – is so important to maintaining wellbeing, positive environments and healthy relationships, both personally and professionally. 

Resilience in action: tips to get you started

Resilience is something that grows with us, through the experiences we have and the ways we learn to ride the next wave rather than getting swept out under it.

Here are a few ways you can begin to develop your resilience to give yourself a good start: 

• Be honest with yourself 
  The only way to acknowledge what is bothering you is to be honest about it. This doesn’t necessarily have to be to someone else but it is important to give yourself the chance to think critically and openly about the challenges you are facing. Chances are that the ‘issue’ requiring your resilience is only a fraction of the wider situation. It’s important to be able to identify the specific issue to narrow your focus onto what needs overcoming. Getting a better idea of this will also help you predict similar challenges in the future and respond even better next time. 
• Give yourself time
  It can feel impossible during busy times to give yourself room to breathe, let alone take some time for yourself to relieve the webs of worry inside. Our resilience is like a muscle – it gets stronger with every exercise. But, like any other muscle, it needs rest and recuperation time too. Resilience is not about ‘blocking out’ emotions to ‘power on’, but relies on our ability to acknowledge and work through our feelings and cultivate our confidence on the next moves to make. 
• Do not compare
  As mentioned before, everyone’s experiences are uniquely moulded in our cast of life. Our background paves the foundations for our feelings and responses that, for some, create a more significant barrier to being as resilient as we might want to be. This is something relative, meaning that it is not comparable from one person to another. By putting yourself at the centre of your focus, your resilience to the first challenge is already underway!

There are lots of resources out there to explore to help to build your resilience and support stress management. 

But, whilst building resilience does a great deal for our own development for dealing with challenges, it is important to develop strong networks for support for when we need a bit of help to bounce back.